how to plan a birthday with the clinically insane

photo by Rachel Robicheax

Once the knot is tied and the houses are combined and names are changed, chances are an event/holiday will be approaching, and traditions must be carried on, disposed of, revamped or created entirely.

For us, this holiday was birthday.

I know you all think that I’m making the tired joke that my birthday is a holiday. Well the joke’s on you and this is no laughing matter. My birthday situation is actually quite unique. Read on.

Many, many years ago, on the 6th of October 1945, my father was born. Thirty-five years later, on the 5th of October 1984, my older sister, Anna, was brought into this world. Two years later, on October 5th 1986, I graced the family with  my presence, and five years after that, yes, on the 5th of October, my little sister ruined everything with her untimely birth on my big day.

So for those of you who never passed the “put two and two together” lesson, this means that four people, or two-thirds of my family, have the same date of birth.

Which, using simple math, basically translates to one-third the presents and a mother with one-third the brain cells by the time the day rolls around each year.

But sometimes we get three cakes, which is nice.

I looked it up in Guiness and turns out I’m pretty sure we have a world record. I would’ve applied for it but the process takes roughly six to eight weeks and a decent fee and quite honestly I don’t feel like putting that kind of effort into proving to the world that my family is the weirdest and most dysfunctional.

You can probably figure that one out for yourself.

Each one of them have enough personality and needs and cake preferences to take up their own day. Which makes this time of year a little complicated/physically dangerous in the Canty family. (For instance, never make Anna upset when she’s holding a pie knife. Actually never make Anna upset when she’s holding anthing with a sharp or hard blunt end. Actually just never make her upset in general is probably the safest bet.)

Time hasn’t necessarily made it any easier to coordinate. We all now live in different parts of the state, making it harder and harder to comply to each one of our birthday whims. And now factor in a new husband that you also want quality spoiling time with and you’ve got one birthday stew and far too many Canty cooks.

Steven had no ideas birthdays could be this much like Word War II. And trust me, no one makes it past the shore on B-Day.

However, this year, I’ve decided to put down my pinata bat and call a truce in the birthwar. This is the first of many Steven and I will be celebrating together as a family, small as it may be, and I want our birthday tradition to start right.

Which means seeing my family, whatever that takes, and spending time with the husband. And probably eating whatever I want. The rest are just the details.

Because when you strip this day of the confetti and ice cream and mimosas it’s simply a day to realize you’ve been alive yet another year, and each one has been mostly good. And if not, a new one is already on the way.

And this year, there’s a lot to be thankful for, presents or not.

But I’ll still be accepting them.

birthday recipes for you:

try  these cakes

Whether it’s birthday or not, they’ll still taste good. If you’re not into the bake-it-yourself scene, call Diana Sitzman, the cake making goddess of Northern Fort Collins. Or just call her anyways.

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