At some point after the wedding – probably as you’re headed towards the getaway car -someone will ask you when you’re planning on having kids.
From here on, this will be the question you answer most frequently, right after “how are you?”
So people are willing to make a person before they’re willing to marry one. This is weird.
The theories and reasonings behind baby timing are as numerous as the babies themselves, ranging from health to birth month to fiances and everything in between.
When women are in their twenties, they have less health risks associated with pregnancy, more energy, put on less weight and tend not to start buying Wal-Mart velcro shoes until long after their child is out of the home unless they are members of the local hipster community. All valid reasons to procreate sooner.
Others want to be more financially stable, own a home, have a career and put off kankles as long as possible. All valid reasons to procreate later.
Wedding/marriage/sex writer Francesca Di Meglio says communication with your spouse is the most important thing when planning when to pop one out, considering all pregnancy possibilities (twins, birth defects, complications, etc.) and whether both partners are emotionally, physically and financially ready. Grandma may be antsy to start spoiling, but you’ll be the one picking up the baby mess. The decision to conceive must be you and your spouse’s alone.
However, no matter how much you plan, there’s always the possibility of the surprise package (Congrats Missy and Jon). So it’s worth talking about before trying. Perhaps God’s plan is better than your own.
Considering the average lifespan of an American is pushing 80 years and menopause typically doesn’t set in until the late 40s or 50s, there are no real environmental reasons to rush. I realized recently I am far too selfish with my time, my sleep, my space and my life in general to love and care for a child the way it deserves. Plus, Steven is not ready to sacrifice part of the paycheck for diapers or trade his Wired subscription for Parenting. Video games are still cooler than diapers. For now.
Don’t worry, we’re not going to let these good looks go to waste. We’ll eventually have children. Just not this year. Or the next. Or the next…
(If you’re waiting to have children, don’t see this movie.)