Everyone deals with illness and injury differently.
Now that I am a two-become-one rather than just a one, I have noticed that my sickness and injury and most all health related issues are not mine alone, nor are Steven’s his alone. When your husband is sick, you are his caretaker of sorts. You buy tissues, make soup, encourage rest and try to slyly avoid mouth kisses. When you are sick, if he knows what’s best for him, he downloads all of Dexter Season Two, brings you flowers, tells you how becoming the red nose actually is, massages your feet and delivers endless supplies of froyo (it tastes good even when you’re sick. And especially when you think you may get sick if he doesn’t get it. This is not in your head). Don’t hesitate to ask for these things even if it’s just a cold. It’s best to be precautionary when it comes to your health and wellbeing.
But in all reality, Steven and I do handle our health quite differently. He tends to be more of a “ride it out” type, refusing to take time off regardless of his vomiting per minute rate. If he were to break a limb I’m sure he’d just sling it up until five and probably never tell his boss. This may sound like an exaggeration but it’s quite accurate. He has no concept of the term “check-up.” The single time he’s been to the doctor since we’ve been together ended up being cancer. And even then he asked if he could finish the day’s work before surgery.
I, on the other hand, lean more towards what I like to call preventative healthcare and what Steven likes to call hypochondria. He sites the time I went to the doctor for a canker sore as evidence. Which is true. But it was a really bad one. I will not hesitate to vitamin up, rest more and receive regular check-ups, just to be sure. I just think that things tend to get worse when left on their own, and I would much prefer to rest in the peace of a professional opinion that I’m going to make it than plan a funeral for no reason.
The challenge then becomes for me not to put on an “I told you so” attitude when something does finally slow him down, and for him not to minimalize it when I’m feeling under the weather. In turn I am trying not to feel under the weather more than over, and he is making an effort to not to be so manly. Which is hard for us both. But we’re learning.
Just another way, however small, we’re better together.