taxes are actually worse than penance

This afternoon, Steven and I had a date with the pope. And he reminded us of why we got married.

No, this wasn’t couples counseling with the head of the Catholic Church. But very close.

It was our first joint filing through Pope Tax Services. An equally enlightening experience that all couples living together without the marriage license are regretfully missing out on (besides security and the Lord’s blessing).

Tax breaks. Like the nation’s way of patting me on the back and saying “Way to lock it up Mags! Here’s a check. Now go have babies!”

For those of you who like me don’t know much about the tax system, here’s a brief overview.

When you claim marriage status (facebook updates don’t count, turns out), the government takes less out of each paycheck. Which is nice.

But in our case, the government was an Indian giver (or is it Native American-giver now? I’m not sure what’s PC anymore). Because now that it’s April, he wants it back.

So the Pope told us to change our status back to single on our W-2s. And then proceeded to charge us for two sessions because we’re two people. So much for grace.

Which made me wonder about all this “government incentive” to get married and where it’s hiding from us.

Which also made me think back to why we got married. Which, luckily for us, had nothing to do with taxes.

The moral of the story is this. Don’t get married because it will save you money. Get married because you’re desperately in love and want to do life with that person for the remainder of your own and/or theirs.

And then the taxes part wont matter so much.

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2 Responses to taxes are actually worse than penance

  1. Pa Shafer says:

    As always…great insights and wisdom!

  2. Cori Pearl says:

    shoot, sorry to hear that. but we filed together and did make bank…well we haven’t actually received it yet, so I’ll get back to you on the second part. the important topic to bring up here is that you are incredibly funny, maggie. thanks for keeping the blog going!

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